Self Help

My fingerless mitts.  Aren't they pretty?  While I could knit some new ones, I just haven't.  It's not that they aren't on the list.  These are actually the legs of an old pair of socks I made maybe 6 or 7 years ago of bits of Harrisville Shetland 2-ply.  As this yarn isn't really suited to the hard wear and tear that socks get, the feet didn't last long before they started wearing out, of course.  I couldn't bear to throw them away, and then one day I cut off the feet, slipped them onto my arms, and there you are: instant fingerless mitts, gauntlets, or what have you, with built-in thumb holes already conveniently placed.   You think I look like a bag lady?  I agree, but I loved these socks and I only wear them while I'm at the computer.  Beautiful yarn.  Perfect colors.  It's time for a real pair, though.  Maybe these, these , these, these, these, these, not these but most likely like these although not necessarily striped, just because I'd like to give the Crystal Palace Kid Merino a try.  It's priced right, is available locally, and comes in some good colors, both solid and variegated.  Check out the matching socks!

So, what does all of this have to do with the title, Self Help?  Nothing really, except that I wore these today while on a walk, thought they might be blogworthy, and grabbed the camera to take a picture of them when I got home.

It's been a rough couple of weeks for me, and I know I'm not the only one.  I've been seeing it here and there around the blogs.  Not sure if it's the lack of sunshine, lack of snow, the holiday let down, the darkness, the new year, or what.  I'm completely overwhelmed, overstimulated, exhausted, and unmotivated all at the same time.

Ack!  Last weekend I found myself in the Self Help section of a bookstore for the first time.  Really in that section, not just casually looking.

I wish I could tell you I found the answer in a book, but I didn't.  I have come across all sorts of helpful suggestions lately in other people's posts and was planning on linking to several of them here, but I'm not going to.   

"Self Help".  That is what I really needed, which has included spending time with real people, in the here and now, as well as spending time alone, all to myself, to try and get my head around all this. 

We've gathered with friends and family several times this past week, getting together to celebrate birthdays and having potlucks/game nights/sledding parties/bowling, and meeting new people.  I've spent less time with all of you online, and more time with my family.  I've slept more, and blogged less.  I'm still knitting, just not much to show yet.

Then, today, I went for a long walk ALL BY MYSELF, with one of the dogs, and NO camera.  I looked at everything directly, not through the lens of a camera.  I sat for a good while by the river and soaked in the sunshine.  I found myself singing at the top of my lungs on the way home (luckily no one could hear me!)

Don't get me wrong.  It's not that you're not real to me.  You're just not here with me.  On the other hand, you are.  Believe me, I "take" you all with me where ever I go.  I even "took" you to the river with me today.  I wish I could meet you all. 

I confess. I did come home with one book from the Self Help section.  It is Keri Smith's, Living Out Loud.  It's not as if I expect miracles out of it, but her blog is inspiring and always cheering and the book appears to have a playful and lighthearted approach.  If it's not going to be fun, it's not what I need right now.   Besides, I had to use my 30% off coupon to the bookstore, right?

Comments

[jess]

Hope the self-help helps! I love the idea that I went to the river with you. I often take my readers places too.

[jessie]

It's the weather, it's the weather. I personally don't usually get into the winter blues until late March, when we're still getting snow. But you're on the right track for getting out of your funk.

I love the fingerless mitts and I should show my husband your post. I wanted some just for working at the computer and he laughed at me. (He works outside, so he's not really sensitive to my cold fingers, I guess.) I can't wait to see what you choose to make.

[knitteriam]

Hang in there, Siri. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

I think it's ironic that as people in snowy parts of the USA wait for it to leave, I am anticipating, hoping for atleast a dusting here in Marvin, NC. As January begins to wan, I am less hopeful. We have had many 50-60 degree days here in Jan. and that is just as depressing to me. Regardless of the weather, January is a time of restlessness for me. I hope the books help. Inspirational reading can pull us through a lot. :)

[blackbird]

I love fingerless gloves/gauntlets whatever you want to call them...and I don't really knit, so, it's off to the sock drawer for me.

I know just what you mean about the past few weeks...but I hadn't really put my finger on it. Strangely, seeing that others are feeling this way helps. I don't feel so alone.

[Chris]

The winter blahs... got it...

Clever use of worn out socks!

[christine]

I, too, have the "winter blues" - get them every winter......This year, however, I often think of my new blog friends, and get a bit cheerier.......It's just kind of neat to know that there are so many people out there in the world who share my passion.......
Put your face up to the sky, and take a big deep breath......then go KNIT!

[jean]

So maybe telling you the story of women in Nebraska wasn't so smart. Being in the here and now is a wise move. Spending time with friends and family another. I spent three very, very dark (but happy) December weeks in Sweden when I was in college. At least once a day we stomped over to somebody's house for tea, candles and laughter. It was wonderful.

One of the many reasons I love your blog is color. The colors in that photo are stunning. You have an amazing eye for noticing what is around you. Three movies I recommend for COLOR. The Hours (maybe not so good for deep winter) Charlotte Gray, and Sense and Sensibility.

[Kerstin]

I started blogging in early 2003 when the blog world was much smaller. I've had many of the same blah feelings you're experiencing now. I took some time off from the internet, closed down my blog and just thought about things. What I found was that I missed the creativity of putting my stuff out there. What I didn't miss was the blog chatter. I decided to draw boundaries because it is important to make this work for me instead of feeling that I'm working for it.

One of the newer blogs that inspired me during this time away was yours. It's peaceful over here. Quiet, contemplative, thoughtful, pleasurable. I linked to your site before taking my site down and out of the links I provided, yours was the one that my readers thanked me for ...

Writing a blog should be fun and not consuming. It feels to me that people have turned this into just another thing to be consumed, rather than something to be savored and appreciated. Blog (and create) for yourself and on your own schedule. And savor those moments of solitude. They're so hard to come by in those early mothering years, but oh so important.

[Elizabeth]

I always get January Blahs instead of February. The lack of sunshine this year has been unreal. And we have no snow and we always get snow. I don't even like snow but I'm perversely missing it.
I love your sock mitts. I always wear my fingerless gloves at the computer, too.
Hang in there, it will pass.

[erica]

This has been a "down" season, but also I'm hoping a season of growth. Maybe I'll take a walk today. No camera. :)
..thanks!

[laurie]

i know just what you mean about the lack of light and snow. here i chicago we had a fair amount of snow in dec, now we are just back to cold. i said to a friend the other day that i wished it would snow and she thought i was crazy. if it is cold i would rather have snow. snow brings brightness and usually sunshine too. hang in there, knit some really bright fingerless mitts!!!! heck, sew some felt suns on them, they will be your jan/feb mitts.

[chelee]

I'm just coming off the back end of the blah's. Once you break through...It's spectacular!

[Kara]

I have the blahs also. It's that time of year, especially in Central Illinois. Sunshine is so seldom that we get all excited if we find 5 minutes of sunshine in a day. I've decided there's only one thing to do. Knit flowers! http://www.jimmybeanswool.com/secure-html/onlinegen/currgen/PickUpSticks/PickUpSticksPatterns.asp?showLarge=true&specPCVID=5551
I'm going to put the flower in link on a Navy Vintage Bubble Bag.
Also I started a homeschoolalong. Our first topic is China/Chinese in honor of Chinese New Year. I thought that might help with the winter doldrums too.

[kara]

i've used the kid merino before and hated it. i'm not a fan of nylon and you can really feel it while your knitting. just my 2 cents.

[Allison]

i'm officially de-lurking to tell you how ironic this post is for me. I check your blog all the time (I am a novice knitter and crafter and mom) and I love it. I went to school in Missoula for 2 years and absolutely fell in love with MT. I miss it so much (we live in Seattle now). We often think about moving there but can't figure out how to make a living and other obstacles.
Anyway, when I read your post about the sledding party I practically had tears in my eyes. It sounded so magical and amazing and something that you may only be able to do in MT. I wished I could have my 3 year old boy experience that so much. But then I found myself wondering, "Is it really that magical and great, or does it just sound so great to me?" So, not that you don't appreciate what you have there, but it's good for me to hear that life can be hard in my utopia as well. Sorry you're feeling the way you do... and I hope the sun comes out for you for a few days!!!! (we got a short break yesterday...ahhh) But please continue to post about MT's magic and all your art and the fun things you do with your kids. I am living vicariously through you! :)

[knitteriam]

Kersten is sooo right on the money!

[Julia]

Thank you for sharing, Siri, and for having a totally inspiring blog. You've inspired a lot of my undertakings lately...starting my first pair of socks (haven't started yet though, hehe), exploring what the plants have to offer us knitters and natural dying (I bought safflower seeds and plan to order some brazilwood shavings). I love your perspective, and I think what you're doing is appropriate for this time of year...re-evaluating, ruminating, and rejecting some things. It's *definitely* "that time of year" and everyone I know is feeling it. Don't worry about taking off and doing your own thing, your day sounds fabulous. And we'll be here waiting when you come back!

[Pattie]

I like your fingerless mitts! I have been called a bag-lady many times in the past... I kind of miss it actually. (o:

We have been sick and having the winter blues as well. I was just telling my husband the other day that I don't know how I managed spending 20+ years in New Hampshire where the cold starts in October and doesn't (really) end until the end of May. The cold did bother me back then sometimes though... I remember one February when me and a friend got sick of the cold and decided to just drive south until it got warm. We ended up at Daytona Beach (exactly 24 hours later). I came back to work a few days later with a sunburn... it was great.

And now-- here I am living in the South, and I've become a big wimp. I can't even handle 40-50 degree weather. Blah. Although it does make it more tolerable (to me) when there is snow to go along with the cold weather. At least it's more pretty.

Anyway, I have found that I'm not always very good at helping my self (Self-Help), but when I sit down and read my Bible, I find that God helps me better than I could have imagined.

[Christine]

In with the good air out with the bad...you know we just had a full moon. It will all be alright!

[graylagran]

thanks for taking me to the river! did you have fun when i took you to the park to fast hike the sycamore loop?
i love long walks by myself. i find that's when i get the most productive thinking done. strange, isn't it? i think there's a song by jonathan richman, where he sings, "i get my best, or most brilliant, ideas at night."
there's been lots of feelings of overwhelment (sp?) and blues going around ... knitter's flu?
hey, want to trade homes for a week? you can have the unseasonably warm days and thunderstorms, mixed in with dry days and the most intense (carolina) blue skies, and i'll take your real winter of clouds and snow :)
the grass is always greener ....
i've strolled by the self-help section before, but keeping right on walking to the craft section instead. i figure my crafts are my therapy, as are the walks. (that might be in the denial section of the books ;)

[scribblesnbits]

It sounds like you're doing all the right things to pick yourself up! With the weather (is ANYBODY having a decent season?) and the post-holiday unwind/let-down sort of thing, it's no wonder we've all dropped a bit.

Can't wait to see your fingerless gloves! I just knit a pair recently:

http://scribblesnbits.typepad.com/scribbles_bits/2006/01/like_that_episo.html

I admit they're very high in frou frou and very low in overall practicality, but since I wasn't sure if I'd even wear them that much, I figured I'd knit a pair that was different and fun. Now I want to knit tons more in different colors and patterns!

[Jane]

I read your post with sympathy. Your photos and writings are a beacon in an often dull world and I am amazed at your wonderfully positive and optimistic outlook. I don't think you'd be human if you you didn't have lapses - it's what makes the bright days all the brighter, after all.

I go through dark days in November and December and encounter a whole new lease of life as from December 26! I'm sure yours will be ready to greet you soon.

[Emily]

Have you tried using daylight bulbs in any fixtures in your house? There is a brand called Chromalux that you can get at Home Depot, they are just like regular light bulbs but a few dollars more expensive. You can substitute one for one of the bulbs in a kitchen or family room lamp. They have worked wonders for me and my husband who both suffer from "winter blues". Just a thought.

[Anna]

wonderful post, and wonderful blog. thanks for your thoughts -- I'm in the January Blahs now, too, and just reading what others have to say eases my mind. oh, and I LOVE your "fingerless" mitts!