





You know that saying?: "Choose your battles wisely." I think I learned that one way back when R was nearing a year old and he still woke up 5, 6, maybe even 7 times each night. We were sleepless and delirious. It made me angry whenever somebody used the phrase, "Sleeping like a baby." Yeah, right. BABIES DON'T SLEEP! And if they do, not for long. I had to get out of the house every day just to stay sane, so I think I shopped for groceries one or two items at a time, a little bit each day. One day, in desperation, I asked a woman I knew who was working at the local health food store, a mother of children ranging in age from 6 to 16 at the time, "Tell me, exactly when do they start sleeping through the night?" She responded, "What do you mean, sleep? With four children, I haven't slept through the night in 16 years. The youngest is finally sleeping fairly well and the oldest one is starting to stay out late."
This was one of those moments that could have discouraged and destroyed me, but instead it was a significant turning point, one that changed my perspective quickly and wholly. I felt utterly relieved. What? You mean CHILDREN DON'T SLEEP? Oh. Well. If that's the case, then I can stop wondering when it'll ever happen and accept it for what it is.
At age three, E still wakes up most nights, once or twice, and one of us usually ends up crawling in with him for part of or the rest of the night (that is, if we haven't already fallen asleep in his room reading to him at bedtime). Occasionally R, at age six, goes through phases of waking up and crawling in with us. That is life in our house. Maybe other people's children sleep, but ours don't.
Two nights ago was one of those nights where they both woke up crying and had a hard time getting back to sleep. It woke me up enough so that now I couldn't sleep. I was up from 11:30 p.m. until about 4:30 a.m. sleeping only a few hours on either end. The trouble is, you still have to get up and try and make it through the day.
Yesterday, it was clear and beautiful so we met a good friend of mine, another homeschooling Mom, and her four children and went on a nearby nature walk loop. You know, the ones with the signs to read along the way? The kids got to run free jump, climb on logs, find good walking sticks, look for trolls under bridges, spot pussy willows, poke sticks in slimy water, play in a creek, and have a blast together. There were only a couple of minor scrapes and whiny requests to be carried. My friend and I probably whined the most, venting our woes to eachother.
E wore his pajamas with his new hand-me-down red rubber boots. This would be his outfit of choice every day if he could. Yet another one of those battles not always worth fighting, especially after a sleepless night. Besides, he looked cute. If I don't have a girl to dress in stripey cotton tights, I can at least have a boy who wears stripey pajamas.
At home again, we put pussy willows we had found in a vase, and made collages from dried grass from outside and pussywillows, acorns, pinecones, and parts of a paper wasp nest that I had hoarded away in a jar from a couple of years ago. R's picture became a birthday card for a party/potluck we went to that evening for a friend of ours. (No, he doesn't sign his name "R". I doctored the photo.) In the meantime, E changed into a pair of C's Carhartt shorts and one of my shirts and then cinched it all tight with a white silk playcloth, claiming himself to be a pirate. For the party, he threw on his penguin costume from Halloween. His regular clothes? He didn't wear a stitch of it all day.
Even now, it is the keeping busy and getting out and being with others that keeps me distracted and sane after yet another sleep deprived night. It's interesting looking at these pictures today after a solid night of sleep. I was in such a scattered and delirious fog when I took them.